Herbert Polecat » Uncategorized

Six Word Stories Invented by Ernest Hemmingway

admin — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 23:22:03 +0000

For sale: baby shoes, never worn. – Ernest Hemmingway

I’ve written my first for a text I though to send when returning from Belgium but actually didn’t.

On ferry,sea calm, wife stormy!

Why not write your own!

If Google was your Mommy would you starve to Death?

admin — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 19:06:30 +0000

See this article here

Parody of New York Empire State of Mind, Newport (Ymerodraeth) State of Mind

admin — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 13:03:47 +0000

I hard a hard finding the lyrics and have cobbled together the following not in any order:-

People are asking if this is the best video spoof ever!

In Newport, concrete jumble nothing in order, not far from the border.

Tom Jones, Steve Jones, Zeta Jones, traffic cones – if you come and visit use the Designated Parking Zones

When you’re in Newport. Chips, cheese, curry makes you feel brand new, washed down with a Special Brew.

Bugger off Alicia, Shirley Bassey is our queen.”

On the dance floor raving, pack of 16 Benson, someone fighting bouncers , turns out it’s Gavin Henson.”

In Newport, twinned with Guangxi Province in China, there’s no province finer. Josie D’Arby’s from Newport. Yes it’s strange we didn’t know either, thank you Wikipedia.

“Let’s say some more Newports, Newports, Newports.”

In Newport, access from the A4042, traffic will enrage you, on your way to Newport.

Our shopping centre is quite new, big leeks will inspire you. Repeat to fade Newport, Newport, Newport.”

‘Yeah you know the D to the V to the LA’

One hand in the air for a taxxiiiii, ’50 quid if you’re sick on the back seat, but all those bendy roads make me queasy can someone hold my hair?

My Mum didn’t see the article calling me a Rap Star , Ripped it up and fed it to the Hamster (HamStaa)

The video was obviously inspired by those giants of Welsh nay World Culture “Goldie Lookin Chain” who also hail from Newport.

Also includes Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch which means The name means: St Mary’s Church (Llanfair) in a hollow (pwll) of white hazel (gwyngyll) near (goger) the swirling whirlpool (y chwyrndrobwll) of the church of St Tysilio (llantysilio) with a red cave ([a]g ogo goch). The word with 58 letters is one of the longest place names in the world and is it is fair to say not often used in lyrics.

I’ve now found all of the lyrics

“Yeah I’m up at Ridgeway

Now I’m down the Moorings, right next to the Debenhams

And I’ll be Port forever

Yes it is my lifeblood

These streets they are a part of me

The yin to my yang

The Craig to my Bellamy

Catch me in the kitchen

I’ve got cheese I’m melting it

Caerphilly, bread and ham

Hey presto it’s a rarebit

Head out to Caerleon

Off-white transit

Febreeze on the dash for the strain where my nan sits

Out for the big one, sniffin’ on the miaow miaow

DJ on the ones and twos, spinnin’ Little Bow Wow

On the dancefloor raving, pack of 16 Benson

Someone fighting bouncers…turns out it’s Gavin Henson

Big up to Plaid Cymru, and the Welsh Assembly

Big up to Millennium: we don’t need no Wembley

Keep your Big Apple…

We’ll have a tangerine

Bugger of Alicia, Shirley Bassey is our queen

Round here we stick together

Like birds of a feather…

Except we’re not from Chigwell…

We’re from the small Welsh town of…

Newport

Concrete jumble, nothing in order

When you’re in Newport

Chips, cheese, curry makes you feel brand new

Washed down with a Special Brew

Repeat the word Newport, Newport, Newport

Catch me at Gwent Dragons in my fleece

Watching real sport

Shit, I make the Dragons’ fleece more famous

Than the Argonauts

And now that I’ve made it here I can make it anywhere

Signed a girl’s babbles when I headlined at the local fair

Yeah know the D to the V to the LA

Dad said “Get a job with them ,“ but Swansea’s too far away

So look me up on Google – I’m seven pages in

Was in the local paper, Mam threw it in the bin

She didn’t see the article calling me a rap star

Ripped it into pieces, and used it for the hamster

If you come and visit use the Designated Parking Zones

There’s a snooker hall, see

But I’m not a member…

And a lovely shopping centre opened in December

So head over the water

On the Transporter

Fifty for the toll booth

Male Voice Choir singing out…

Newport

Twinned with Guangxi, Province in China

There’s no province finer

Josie D’Arby’s from Newport

Yes, it’s strange, we didn’t know either…

Thank you Wikipedia

Let’s say some more Newports, Newports, Newports

One hand in the air for a taxi

Fifty quid if you’re sick on the back seat

But all those bendy roads make me queasy…

Can someone hold my hair?

Everybody say…

Newport…

Access from the A4042

Traffic will enrage you

On your way to Newport

Our shopping centre is quite new

Big leeks will inspire you

Repeat to fade Newport, Newport, Newport”

Lyrics by Tom Williams

Daughter of Tess of the d’Urbervilles Still Alive

admin — Tue, 25 May 2010 13:47:36 +0000

Or rather the daughter of the farm maid now 106 is still alive (May 2010)l, Hardy had been inspired by the beauty of Gertrude’s mother Augusta Way, then an eighteen year-old milkmaid, when he visited Augusta’s father’s farm in Bockhampton. It is suggested by her daughter Norrie, that Augusta was the true inspiration for Tess, and being so taken with Augusta’s beauty, Hardy remembered her when writing the novel all those years later. When Hardy saw Gertrude Bugler (he rehearsed The Hardy Players at the hotel run by Gertrude’s parents), he immediately recognised her as the young image of the now older Augusta. (Woodhall, 2006/Wikipedia)

This sister would have likely become a well known actress but for the jealousy of Hardy’s wife.

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening

admin — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 22:35:36 +0000

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

by Robert Frost

Polecat Retreat, St Leonards Road Leicester

admin — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 22:51:24 +0000

Photo Nick Kaye. Polecat Retreat St Leonards Road, Leicester. Residence of Herbert Polecat. It’s probably fair to say that this was not a temple of learning.

The Squirrel will be in the Teletower at midnight

admin — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 12:25:41 +0000

Saw this on a poster but where does it come from?

More at Serendipity Luck and Coincidence

Zzyzx Road California

admin — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 19:10:51 +0000

I’ve discovered a fair bit of weirdness associated with Zzyzx Road including an evangelist and the endangered Mohave tui chub, it’s had TWO films made about it read more by clicking here if you dare!

It Is a Miracle You Exist!

admin — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 23:37:53 +0000

For you to be alive you need to have an unbroken chain of ancestors, so your forefathers survived plagues, wars, illnesses, accidents, wars, starvation and so on. You had an ancestor alive at the same time as Jesus, you had an ancestor who walked out of Africa, an ancestor who first fashioned a stone tool.

Seems miraculous and yet mathematically it has no significance as the same is true for every other human alive today.

Going to School with the 101st Airborne at Little Rock

admin — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 09:58:09 +0000

Going to School with the 101st Airborne Little Rock

Photo Wikicommons US Government Public Domain