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Geoff Boycott is a former England cricketer famous for his pithy points of view and being a gruff and gritty Yorkshireman. Boycott Bingo consists of crossing off a square every time Boycott uses one of his stock phrases eg:-.

Boycott is noted as having invented the phrase “corridor of uncertainty”

I reckon my mum could have caught that in her pinny

Ah don’t want t’offend anybody, Ah just tell t’troowth

Fred Trueman (any Mention)

Yorkshire (Any Mention)

I could have hit that with a stick of celery/rhubarb

It’s all about the footwork

ho ho that ball was wasted on thee lad

You could book in for a bed and breakfast on this wicket

No more brains than a pork pie

Time in the middle is better than any amount of nets

The best place to see fast bowling is from the non-strikers end

Now ‘ee’s got an undred he’s got ter knuckle down fer a really big score

Add two wickets to the score

Smashing shot, really, really smashin’, you could pay money just to watch that

Facing fast bowling: To have some idea what it’s like, stand in the outside lane of a motorway, get your mate to drive his car at you at 95 mph and wait until he’s 12 yards away, before you decide which way to jump.
Geoffrey Boycott

The game itself is a spoof as everyone wins every time!

Cricket commentators are normally concerned to be fair and just but not Boycs whose forthright views are often so refreshing.

The game was invented during the England Pakistan Test August 2010 by someone on TMS Test Match Special. Cricket as a sport has attracted many humorous comments due to the long periods of not much going on! English Cricket Fans have (had to) developed a certain Schadenfreud over the years.

One of my favorite anecdotes was when he told the story of somebody in the Yorkshire Dressing Room who foolishly tried to stand up to Fred Trueman. Boycs is also famous for scoring runs incredibly slowly and thus actually lost his place in the English Test Team; it must be said this was at a time when the West Indian fast bowlers reigned supreme.

See a link here to a photo of the Boycott Bingo Card.

Cricket commentary is becoming an art-form with a pack of zany characters such as Phil Tufnell (Tuffers) and Henry Blofield who talks about the buses going by.

I have splendid memories of Brian Johnson and colleagues keeping up a running commentary on a rainy day when no cricket at all was played. The most famous cricket quote was “The bowler’s Holding, the batsmen’s Willey” by Brian Johnston Oval Test 1976, England -v- West Indies. Also the related : Jonathan Agnew had suggested that Ian Botham, in being out hit wicket had failed to “get his leg over”. Jonners went into uncontrollable giggles and uttered “Aggers for goodness sakes stop it!”

Geoffrey Boycott Quotes Collection

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I hard a hard finding the lyrics and have cobbled together the following not in any order:-

People are asking if this is the best video spoof ever!

In Newport, concrete jumble nothing in order, not far from the border.

Tom Jones, Steve Jones, Zeta Jones, traffic cones – if you come and visit use the Designated Parking Zones

When you’re in Newport. Chips, cheese, curry makes you feel brand new, washed down with a Special Brew.

Bugger off Alicia, Shirley Bassey is our queen.”

On the dance floor raving, pack of 16 Benson, someone fighting bouncers , turns out it’s Gavin Henson.”

In Newport, twinned with Guangxi Province in China, there’s no province finer. Josie D’Arby’s from Newport. Yes it’s strange we didn’t know either, thank you Wikipedia.

“Let’s say some more Newports, Newports, Newports.”

In Newport, access from the A4042, traffic will enrage you, on your way to Newport.

Our shopping centre is quite new, big leeks will inspire you. Repeat to fade Newport, Newport, Newport.”

‘Yeah you know the D to the V to the LA’

One hand in the air for a taxxiiiii, ’50 quid if you’re sick on the back seat, but all those bendy roads make me queasy can someone hold my hair?

My Mum didn’t see the article calling me a Rap Star , Ripped it up and fed it to the Hamster (HamStaa)

The video was obviously inspired by those giants of Welsh nay World Culture “Goldie Lookin Chain” who also hail from Newport.

Also includes Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch which means The name means: St Mary’s Church (Llanfair) in a hollow (pwll) of white hazel (gwyngyll) near (goger) the swirling whirlpool (y chwyrndrobwll) of the church of St Tysilio (llantysilio) with a red cave ([a]g ogo goch). The word with 58 letters is one of the longest place names in the world and is it is fair to say not often used in lyrics.

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Or rather the daughter of the farm maid now 106 is still alive (May 2010)l, Hardy had been inspired by the beauty of Gertrude’s mother Augusta Way, then an eighteen year-old milkmaid, when he visited Augusta’s father’s farm in Bockhampton. It is suggested by her daughter Norrie, that Augusta was the true inspiration for Tess, and being so taken with Augusta’s beauty, Hardy remembered her when writing the novel all those years later. When Hardy saw Gertrude Bugler (he rehearsed The Hardy Players at the hotel run by Gertrude’s parents), he immediately recognised her as the young image of the now older Augusta. (Woodhall, 2006/Wikipedia)

This sister would have likely become a well known actress but for the jealousy of Hardy’s wife.

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Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

by Robert Frost

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Photo Nick Kaye. Polecat Retreat St Leonards Road, Leicester. Residence of Herbert Polecat. It’s probably fair to say that this was not a temple of learning.

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Saw this on a poster but where does it come from?

More at Serendipity Luck and Coincidence

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I’ve discovered a fair bit of weirdness associated with Zzyzx Road including an evangelist and the endangered Mohave tui chub, it’s had TWO films made about it read more by clicking here if you dare!

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King Eadred of England 946-955AD when he got old could no longer chew food. He used to suck out the nutrients and spit out the rest. His nobles were disgusted by this but could not say anything because he was King!

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For you to be alive you need to have an unbroken chain of ancestors, so your forefathers survived plagues, wars, illnesses, accidents, wars, starvation and so on. You had an ancestor alive at the same time as Jesus, you had an ancestor who walked out of Africa, an ancestor who first fashioned a stone tool.

Seems miraculous and yet mathematically it has no significance as the same is true for every other human alive today.

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